you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
