Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
