You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
