I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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