I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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