This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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