you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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