she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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