I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
