I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
