Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
