Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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