I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We have started to decorate penises.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
