he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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