Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
