It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
