Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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