Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
