wanna go halves on a baby?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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