You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
