And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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