...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
