do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
