i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I am available for nakedness
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
