it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
