i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
