and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
