Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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