dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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