another moral hangover. fuck.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
