I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
