Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
