I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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