I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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