at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
