I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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