What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We have so much sex to catch up on
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
