Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
