am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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