I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
His nipple licking is glorious
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