how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
