barbara walters just said penis...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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