Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
