I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
