dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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