Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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