A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
