nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
