Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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