Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
