I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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